Victims of Shamelessness (Anecdotes from the life of Kagami Taiga)
by Beautiful Thief
Summary: It really is very hard being friends with Aomine and Kise; and it does not get any easier with age. [A sequel of sorts, to my fic 'Victims of Love (A Tale in Three Acts)'.]


One day, I will write a Victims-verse fic which is _actually_ about KagaKuro.

But today is not that day.

Christmas gift fic for limitlessmonster , who really wanted more from this series and who I admire too much to refuse. I'm sorry it's a bit late! I really hope you enjoy this, because to be honest I keep sitting here thinking NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Special thanks, as always, to cimberelly , for requesting the original fic from me, and for helping me with ideas for the content of this fic.

* * *

><p>MOVING IN – (or, how Kise and Aomine cope with living together)<p>

* * *

><p>The first thought in most of their minds – and definitely in Taiga's – when Aomine and Kise declared that they were going to move into an apartment together for university, was that they were definitely both going to die.<p>

The jury seemed a little bit out on how, though.

Personally, Taiga was fond of the idea of them killing each other (he really couldn't imagine living with either one of them without wanting to kill himself or them, and wasn't entirely sure how they were going to be able to live with each other); Momoi seemed convinced that they would either starve or poison themselves (and no one except for Aomine had the balls to say that it was only her cooking that would kill them); Kuroko was 'mildly concerned' that their combined desire to perform household chores (might as well have been in negative numbers) would result in something falling on someone.

Still, the two of them refused to reconsider the idea for another year or two, and so it was that Taiga somehow found himself helping the both of them move into their apartment a few weeks before the beginning of their first semester of university.

"How much crap do you even _have_," he complained at them. They looked up from where they were putting down their own boxes.

"These are just the necessities, Kagamicchi," Kise said. He cut open one of the boxes to check what was inside it. "Except for Aominecchi. I seriously doubt your Mai-chan magazines are a _necessity_."

"Shows what you know," Aomine answered. "Come on, there's still more boxes. And don't give me that prissy shit about being tired, if we're still going, you're fine."

Kise blew his cheeks out in a sigh but followed along after Aomine anyway.

* * *

><p>Okay, so if he was <em>entirely<em> honest, Taiga's main concern was not actually Aomine and Kise's ability to survive living together.

Over the years they had _somehow_ managed to forge some kind of strange and sometimes uncomfortable friendship. So he was. _Friends_. With them.

Being friends with Aomine and Kise over the past two odd years had meant being privy to a lot of their private life because they didn't seem to believe in keeping a private life especially private from their friends or some strangers.

In addition, being Kuroko's boyfriend meant that he'd been more involved than he liked in the aftermath of their fights.

Both of them needed time and space after they had a blow out. This was a typical pattern of their fights:

Kise would dramatically show up announcing they'd broken up, though confirmation with Aomine was always needed over the truth of this statement. Occasionally it was, but more often than not, Kise was being melodramatic because that was what he did. Kuroko would be stolen away by Kise because despite his claims otherwise, Kuroko cared very deeply for Kise.

Next, Aomine would show up. Depending on the severity of the fight, he might also steal Kuroko away; if it wasn't so bad, then he would let Taiga come along, but if it was _bad_ he'd usually only take Kuroko.

After calming down, however long it might take, the two of them would usually reconcile without outside influence. Barring that one first, scarring reconciliation made in Taiga's apartment, intervening wasn't often actually necessary, though Taiga couldn't explain how the two idiots managed to talk things out without help.

Without their own places to go to get away from each other and cool down, he was a little bit worried that a big fight and actual break up was going to happen, and. Well. They were both usually really difficult when broken up.

Kuroko liked to say that seeing them sad made Taiga sad too because he was a nice person, but he didn't like to believe those kinds of lies.

The fact that he knew both of their favourite foods and _coincidentally_ felt like making them around the times that they had serious fights meant _absolutely nothing_, and Kuroko needed to keep his lying mouth shut.

As it turned out, he didn't really have that much reason to worry.

It wasn't because they didn't fight. Unfortunately, he didn't have to worry because whoever managed to get themselves locked out of the apartment was expected to come and stay with _him_.

He discovered this one afternoon when he came home to find Kise sitting at his doorstep trying to charm the old lady who lived downstairs from him into letting him inside.

Only fights with Aomine set him off his game so he couldn't get people to do what he wanted them to, and as he got closer, he could see the usual evidence of a fight with Aomine; his eyes were red where he'd been rubbing them to try and prevent tears from spilling over.

(Kise always cried while arguing with Aomine. Fighting with him made him distressed, and even though he didn't want to cry and hated it because it was embarrassing and made him feel pathetic, he always did.)

"Ah, Kagamicchi!" he called out when he noticed him. "Let me help you!"

Taiga sighed and tried to figure out if he had all the things he needed to make Kise's favourites.

Kise made a half-hearted effort at taking one of the bags of groceries from his hand, but previous experience said he was never gentle enough with them, so Taiga didn't let him take it.

He pouted. "Come on, Kagamicchi, I totally learned my lesson the third time I came home with broken eggs! I'm careful now, I promise! You can't get your keys out, right? Let me help!"

"Kise, we both know you don't want to carry the bags," Taiga said. "It's okay." He put one lot of them down and dug his keys out of his pocket. After opening the door, and letting Kise hold it open for him so he could at least_ feel_ like he was being useful, he said, "Wait, it took you _three_ trips to—nevermind. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Aominecchi locked me out," he muttered, and crossed his arms. He passed very well for a sulky child, rather than an almost-nineteen-year-old boy.

"...and you came here?"

He waved his arms. "Where else was I supposed to go?!"

"_Anywhere else_," Taiga muttered, and put down the bags again to let them both into his apartment.

Kise bounded inside - how did he get locked out if the fight wasn't bad enough to have him in a miserable mood? – and claimed his favourite spot on the couch.

Taiga tried not to remember that Aomine and Kise had had sex there. He tried not to remember it pretty much any time one of them was here. He was yet to be particularly successful.

"Did you talk with Kuroko yet?" he asked as he started putting the food away.

"Kurokocchi is busy today," Kise whined. Taiga already knew Kuroko was busy, but usually that didn't stop Kise from barging his way into whatever Kuroko was doing. "I just need somewhere to stay tonight, Kagamicchi. I'm sure Aominecchi will let me back in the apartment tomorrow. It was only a _little_ fight."

"If it was only a little fight," Taiga countered, "why did you get kicked out?"

"Because Aominecchi is a _meanie_," Kise whined. He leaned over the back of the couch and watched Taiga put the food away.

"As long as you're out of my hair tomorrow, I don't mind letting you stay without an explanation," Taiga finally said. "You already know I have a spare room. But." He grabbed one of his wooden spoons and pointed it at Kise's face. "If you're still here tomorrow night, I want an explanation."

"Okay," Kise agreed, and Taiga sighed.

"I'm going to start cooking in a moment," he told him. "You'll have to entertain yourself."

Kise slumped over the couch. "Remind me to bring something over here to play with. Your apartment's really boring, Kagamicchi."

Taiga manfully resisted the urge to smack Kise with his wooden spoon, but he had to put it down on the bench to do so. To distract himself, he got his phone out of his pocket to text Kuroko and Aomine.

_kise's here please come over before i kill him_ is what he sent to Kuroko.

_i don't know or care what you fought about but thought you might want to know kise's at my apartment and not dead in a ditch somewhere _is what he sent to Aomine.

Kuroko's response is quick, and also expected. _I will see if I can make it around for a little while. In the mean time, please do not kill Kise-kun. I would not like to have to visit you in prison._

Aomine's arrived later, when Taiga was in the middle of preparing the vegetables. He paused to check it.

_k thanks_ is all it said, and Taiga rolled his eyes and got back to chopping.

* * *

><p>INTERLUDE – (or, the shameless indulgence of someone's exhibitionist kink)<p>

* * *

><p>The painful truth of the matter was that Taiga was accepted to university on the strength of his basketball ability rather than that of his schooling achievements. This was fine by him, but he still struggled with a lot of his classes.<p>

Sometimes, when he and Kuroko started to get tired of studying at Taiga's house, they would go for a change of scenery at the library nearby. It was usually quiet, and there was a Maji not far away.

Today, it wasn't _quite_ as quiet as usual.

They had settled at the table they usually used on the few occasions they came here, laid out their books and Kuroko had been quietly explaining something, when they heard a very familiar voice cry out.

"...Kuroko," Taiga said slowly, "please tell me that wasn't what I think it was."

Kuroko had a very pained look on his face, and was already packing up his things.

"I'll warn them to be a little quieter before we go," was all he said.

"_That is not the issue here!_"

Kuroko stood, and Taiga realised that he hadn't started packing up his things. He quickly started gathering them as Kuroko wandered towards where Kise's voice had come from.

* * *

><p>FOOD – (or, the strange eating habits of the Kise Ryouta in it's natural habitat)<p>

* * *

><p>Kuroko's phone was ringing.<p>

"Leave it," Taiga muttered against his neck. It had been a while since they'd had the time to indulge; training had been brutal, and classes a nightmare. This one, blessed free evening was something he wanted to take _advantage_ of.

"What if it's important?" Kuroko asked.

They both knew he was going to pick up the phone, and Taiga groaned and let Kuroko climb out of his lap.

"Good evening, Aomine-kun."

_Fucking Aomine_.

Kuroko returned to settle himself back in Taiga's lap, and then leaned back against him. Taiga curled his arms around him and nosed his neck impatiently.

"_Tetsu, I think Kise's possessed._"

_Fucking_. _Aomine_.

"What makes you think so?"

Taiga was about to ask why the fuck Kuroko was entertaining the idiot's delusions, but Kuroko seemed to sense his irritated question and reached a hand up to put a finger against his lips.

Oh. He felt like being mean. Well, Taiga could get on board with that. Aomine deserved to be punished, calling about such dumb shit.

"_He's eating _everything_. I mean, _everything_. He never eats this much! He always complains about being on a diet but he's sitting on the couch eating us out of house and home and _he ate my donuts Tetsu."

Taiga snorted softly.

"That does sound very unusual for Kise-kun."

"_He won't even share with me. He _always_ shares with me_."

"Maybe he _is_ possessed."

For a moment, Taiga wondered if maybe he needed to re-evaluate his expectations for Aomine's intelligence, as there was a pause over the line. Kuroko didn't seem too bothered, though...

"_So you think so too? What do I do? How do I save him? I have to do an exo-thingy right? How do you do that? Do you think Midorima knows? Should I ask him?_"

"You shouldn't bother Midorima-kun. He's very busy with his studies."

"_But Satsuki laughed when I called her!_"

Taiga traced his fingers over Kuroko's thighs. He was already tired of this. The two of them had had _plans_ for this evening.

Kuroko covered the mike of his phone and kissed his cheek. "Alright, Kagami-kun." He uncovered the phone. "What did Kise-kun say when you asked him why he was eating so much?"

"..._I didn't ask_," Aomine said. "_I just tried to take some and he was really vicious! He bit my hand! Usually he just smacks it but he lets me take the food anyway._" Aomine paused. "_What if he wants to eat _me?!"

"Considering that Kise-kun is probably not possessed, I sincerely doubt it. You should just ask him why he's eating so much, Aomine-kun. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation."

There was silence over the phone, and then:

"_Screw you, Tetsu._"

The line went dead then.

Kuroko put his phone on the table and smiled at Taiga. "Should we perhaps move this somewhere else?"

* * *

><p>DOMESTIC ROUTINES – (or, Aomine and Kise are inefficient but at least can still get things done)<p>

* * *

><p>Because Aomine and Kise had moved in relatively close to Taiga's apartment, Kuroko had taken it upon himself to ensure that they were fed properly every now and again.<p>

Which meant that at minimum once a fortnight, Kuroko would turn those evil blue eyes at Taiga and say "It's not as if you won't be making enough food for five anyway" and Taiga would do it because he was a sucker.

This was why he was over at Aomine and Kise's apartment building that evening. Usually he made Kuroko do this bit – he already cooked everything, after all – but Kuroko had an assignment to do and had left early, and Taiga would probably eat it himself if he left it in the fridge until Kuroko could take it to them, and then Kuroko would make a _disappointed face_.

His disappointed faces were the worst.

So he was here, trudging up the stairs to their apartment carrying food. He needed to remember to take the containers from the last time he'd made food for them.

He was just standing outside the door to their apartment when he heard them.

"Fucking- _come on_ Ryouta; I am _not_ doing all of this by myself."

"But I'm _hungry_. I was going to make dinner!"

"You can't cook for shit, and I refuse to be blamed for ruining your stupid clothes. Do you know how many of your things have special washing instructions? Fuck that shit, Ryouta. _Fuck that shit_."

"But it's _boring_."

"Of course it's fucking boring. It's housework. But I have no clean clothes left because _you_ keep stealing my clothes, and we might as well do it all if we're going to do it."

Taiga heard footsteps approaching the door – one purposeful (probably Aomine) and one reluctant and dragging (definitely Kise) – and decided he needed to knock _right now_.

He did, and heard the footsteps pause.  
>"If it's that bitch from downstairs," he heard Aomine start muttering.<p>

The door yanked open, and Taiga was treated to the sight of Aomine with a basket of clothes under his arm, and Kise with his arms around another basket.

The three of them blink at each other for a moment.

"Uh," Taiga uttered.

Kise beamed. "Aominecchi, look! _Food!_"

Aomine was scowling at him. Was he red? Taiga couldn't quite tell from here, and didn't really want to get close enough to find out.

"Uh," he said again, "if you tell me where the containers from last time are, I'm happy to just leave these in the kitchen and go."

The two of them looked at each other.

"I can't remember," Kise said. "Was it my turn to do dishes that week?"

"I don't know. I don't remember. Tetsu usually tells us to put them somewhere right?"

"Kurokocchi had to leave early last time..."

The two of them were quiet for a moment.

"I could stay and help Kagamicchi look for them," Kise said. The expression on his face was more an attempt at innocence than anything.

Aomine kicked at his shins, and Kise yelped. "No fucking way. I already told you I'm not doing the washing on my own. You're going to sort your own damn clothes and do your own goddamn handwashing, because I am not taking the blame if your shit gets wrecked again."

Taiga wasn't sure _what_ it was that was making him so uncomfortable about witnessing this – whether it was the feeling that he was intruding on something, or the horrifying and disgusting _domesticity_ of it all.

Domesticity was not really something he associated with either Aomine or Kise, mostly because they were honestly two of the most childish and immature people he knew.

He was about to say 'fuck the containers, I'll get Kuroko to pick them up another time' when Kise nudged Aomine with his foot.

"Hey, Aominecchi, we should ask Kagamicchi about the washing thing! He's been living alone for ages, I'm sure he'll know!"

"...I am _not_ teaching you how to wash your clothes. Don't either of you have parents? Why don't you _already know_ this shit?"

"Aominecchi would go to school in his dirty shirts, if his mother didn't do it," Kise informed him. "I was too busy."

"What Kise actually means," Aomine drawled, "is that he's a spoiled baby."

"I can't believe you two are actually real people," Taiga muttered. "I can't believe you two are my biggest rivals. Fuck this shit. I want a refund."

"I never asked for you either," Aomine answered. "Be grateful."

"_Please_, Kagamicchi?"

"I'm not your mother. Just let me find the containers and go home. Don't you have something you're supposed to be doing?"

It was almost like a magic spell; their united front shattered, and Kise puffed out his cheeks as Aomine scowled.

"Stop distracting me!" Aomine turned around to face Kise. "Down to the laundry room!"

"_Aominecchi_-"

"No. Sex won't cut it. _Go_."

Kise sighed mournfully. "Damn it." He manoeuvred his way past Aomine and Taiga and trudged downstairs.

"If you can't find them, just tell Tetsu to fetch them," Aomine said. "He always finds them, no matter where we put them. And lock the door before you leave."

He trotted after Kise, and Taiga sighed.

Way more trouble than they were worth.

* * *

><p>DINNER PARTIES – (or, no, actually, they can't)<p>

* * *

><p>"What is this?"<p>

Taiga waved the card at Kuroko's face. It hadn't been on his fridge when his boyfriend had arrived, so the only explanation was that it came with him.

The contents of the card were an invitation.

"It's an invitation for dinner, Kagami-kun," Kuroko said, deliberately slow. Taiga wanted to grind his palm into Kuroko's head. "I had assumed you would be able to read it, though perhaps I put a little too much stock in..." he peered closer to examine the handwriting, "...Kise-kun's handwriting being legible."

"I can read it just fine!" Taiga snarled. "They can't _cook_, why are they hosting us for dinner?"

"Are you sure you were able to read the card?" Kuroko asked. "I told Kise-kun to include that you were invited so they could say thank you when he asked me what to put on it."

Taiga sighed. "Of course it was Kise's idea."

He looked over the invitation more closely. Then he looked at Kuroko, who had that stubborn set to his mouth he got when he was going to fight for something.

Bastard.

"I can't convince you not to, can I?" he asked, feeling tired already.

"You could try," Kuroko answered, though the expression on his face said something more like, '_not on your life_'.

The things Taiga did for this little bastard.

* * *

><p>It was when Kuroko agreed that they should arrive significantly earlier than the time indicated on the invitation that Taiga started to get a sinking feeling very similar to dread in his stomach.<p>

This was not aided by the fact that upon arrival, something definitely smelled burnt.

"Kurokocchi!" Kise greeted at the door. "You're early! Did you miss me?"

"Tetsu's here already?" Aomine yelled from further inside. "He's not here to see you, idiot. He has the big red lug with him, doesn't he?"

Kise looked at Taiga. "Yes, of course."

Taiga almost considered turning around and leaving right then, but then Kise waved them inside, and took their coats. This was kind of weird, because Kise just threw the coats over the back of the couch after he got them, because their apartment didn't really have anywhere to hang them.

Kuroko looked around. "The place looks nice."

He was being _very_ polite. And he was _really_ stretching the meaning of the word 'nice'. They haven't cleaned up half as well as Taiga would if he had company; but then, he's not even sure the two of them know how, at this point. He looked over at the kitchen, and his dread is totally validated as Kise bounced into the kitchen and curled his arms around Aomine, sufficiently distracting him from preparing food.

And the kitchen is a _mess_.

Taiga couldn't bear to look at it. He looked at Kuroko, who had a very challenging look on his face, somehow.

"I really hate you sometimes," he said to Kuroko. "If you want to have a goddamn dinner party, just say so."

"I would never want to impose on your hospitality in such a way, Kagami-kun," Kuroko answered, and it's a damned lie, and they both know it, just like both also know that Kuroko really loves watching Taiga kick and boss around his two most immature ex-teammates.

So Taiga sighed, tired and exasperated already, and then drew himself up to his full height before stalking into the kitchen.

"You're both useless," he informed them. "Get out and do something you can't fuck up. Like tidy up a bit more. This place is _not_ company-level tidy."

"Uh," Aomine started, but Kise dragged him out of the kitchen before he could begin to argue properly.

Taiga looked over the food; there were various things everywhere on the bench with no logical order or progression to what had and had not been worked on, and then he wondered why it was that he continued to put up with all these idiots.

It's not hard for him to cook for six, since he practically does it for himself every day. It was annoying being in an unfamiliar kitchen though, and Aomine kept trying to wheedle his way into helping in there instead of tidying and cleaning. Taiga took no small pleasure in shooting him down, and then watching with a vindictive sense of pride as Kuroko jabbed his fingers into Aomine's side for trying to slack off from his newly assigned job.

All in all, by the time Midorima and Takao showed up at the time the invitation specified, the living spaces in Aomine and Kise's apartment were (relatively) clean and tidy, the food was mostly done, the table was set, and the kitchen, since Kagami tidied as he cooke, no longer looked like a complete disaster zone.

"Please tell me Kagami cooked," is the first thing that comes out of Midorima's mouth after Kise lets him and Takao in.

Kise and Aomine both made noises of outrage at the slight against their combined cooking abilities as they all migrated into the living space. Taiga watched as Takao nodded his head in Kuroko's direction so that Midorima could make eye contact with him.

"Yes, Kagami-kun cooked," Kuroko confirmed. "Kise-kun, you should resume your hosting duties and take their coats."

"How come he always listens when you tell him to do things?" Aomine complained when Kise jumped to do as he was told. "All he does is whine when I do it."

"Kurokocchi is special," Kise interrupted as he folded the coats over his arm. "And you can't talk, I can never get you to do any cleaning or tidying, but you listened to Kurokocchi before!"

"Shut up, Kise."

"Shin-chan's really happy to get to eat your food again, Kagami," Takao said as he wandered towards the kitchen. "I'm almost jealous."

Taiga looked at the door, where he was leaning. "Come and help, then," he said. "You don't seem incompetent, like the other idiots."

Takao snickered. "Maybe I'll pick up tips some other time. You don't really need any help at this stage, from what I can tell."

He shrugged. He didn't, but that hadn't been the point.

"I'm a bit surprised Midorima was willing to come," he said. None of them were Midorima's favourite person; though in all honesty, from what Taiga had seen, Midorima didn't seem to enjoy _anyone's_ company except perhaps Takao's.

Takao grinned. "I don't know what you mean," he said cheerfully, "Shin-chan _loves_ you guys. Also, he's dying for a good meal. He can't cook, and I've been really busy with my studies so we've been living off instant and store bought stuff for a bit."

Taiga had to wonder if it was too late to reverse all the life decisions he'd made that had resulted in him being here with so many incompetent assholes.

"Kuroko," he called out, "we're breaking up."

"Yes, yes," Kuroko answered from behind Takao – Taiga jumped, and Takao grinned at Kuroko. Asshole. "Can it wait until after dinner, though?"

"I figured it out," he said, deliberately loudly. "Someone told you to seduce me because I can cook, didn't they."

"I'm glad that you're enjoying yourself, Kagami-kun," Kuroko said, voice bland. "Takao-kun, you may wish to return to the other room. Kise-kun and Aomine-kun enjoy picking on Midorima-kun a little too much. I believe they are unable to resist an easy target."

Takao sighed. "I almost wish I could join in," he lamented. "It's his curse, to be so wonderfully fun to tease."

In the pause in their conversation, the indistinct sound of Midorima's outraged voice filtered through, and Takao grinned before moving back to the living space.

Taiga looked at Kuroko. "Get in here and help me put everything in serving bowls," he muttered.

Kuroko nodded, and unerringly pulled the bowls out. Taiga didn't know if he wanted to know why he was so familiar with Aomine and Kise's kitchen.

"Seriously, though," Taiga sighed, "I ended up doing all the work of cooking anyway..."

"It's probably preferable to sampling Aomine-kun's attempts at making food," Kuroko commented. "And I was unable to talk Kise-kun out of the dinner party."

Taiga started filling up the bowls. "We could have just not come," he said. "You do realise we could have just refused, right."

Kuroko stared at him blankly. "Kagami-kun, do you really think that would stop Kise-kun?"

He paused as he passed one of the bowls back to him. "...Maybe not," he admitted, grudgingly. He could all too vividly imagine the crying and wailing and the endless mails on his phone, and then when Aomine got sick of him being sulky and bitchy, having to deal with him in person when he was kicked out of the apartment.

Kuroko was looking smug as he left the room with bowls in hand, and Taiga would have jabbed his side if it wouldn't have meant the food would go all over the floor.

* * *

><p>INSOMNIA AND CUPCAKES – (or, Aomine is a child)<p>

* * *

><p>"Kagami, I'm bored."<p>

Taiga mentally counted to five so he didn't lose his temper. "No one asked you to come over here," he grumbled. "I didn't ask for you to be here. Why _are_ you here? _Leave_."

"Obviously I'm here because I'm bored," Aomine said. "Also, the apartment is too quiet with Kise gone. It's driving me crazy."

"You're driving me crazy! _Go home_."

It was day four.

Kise was... somewhere; honestly, Taiga wasn't _entirely_ sure where he was exactly, since he didn't care enough to remember. The only thing he did know was that Kise was somewhere not close enough to Tokyo to come home every night, and that he was going to be gone for six days.

Aomine had turned up on day three, saying that he was bored and wanted to play basketball, which Taiga had been more than happy to do, until he realised that Aomine had no intentions of _leaving_ his apartment until Kise was scheduled to get home.

He had taken up residence in the spare room of his apartment, which Kise paid him to store half his wardrobe in, saying that because Kise paid to use the room space, he was totally justified in taking the bed. Taiga had, of course, said that Kise paid him for the storage, not for the fucking room, and that if he was renting the room as a whole he'd charge him more, but Aomine never listened to... well, anything Taiga said that wasn't something he agreed with.

"Let's play basketball," Aomine said. "It's not that late. Kise would do it."

"_Kise_ loves you, and I do not," Taiga answered. "Go to bed, it's-" he looked at the clock. _Jesus_. "—one in the fucking morning."

"You were still awake," Aomine pointed out.

Taiga turned over in bed and decided to try and ignore him. This turned out to be a bad idea, as Aomine had absolutely no reluctance about climbing over him in his quest to find entertainment.

"Okay, okay, so no basketball," Aomine continued, and Taiga groaned. "We should make cupcakes."

He gave up sleep as a bad job and sat up, rubbing his face and feeling exhausted. "Why?"

Aomine looked at him as if _he_ was the dumb one here. "Obviously for Kise."

"Kise isn't going to be back for another two days. They'll be stale by then."

"Okay, for _me_ then, are you happy?"

_No_, he wanted to say, he was _not_ happy, because Kuroko was supposed to be in his bed tonight, not Aomine, and because he didn't want to make food for Aomine at one in the morning, and because Aomine was annoying as hell.

"Your boyfriend is rubbing off on you," he muttered. "Were you always this annoying?"

"Of course Kise rubs off on me," Aomine answered instantly, with a very smug look on his face. Taiga resisted the urge to gag at him.

"Come on, show me how to make them," Aomine said. "Then I won't need you there next time."

Of course there was no way in hell Taiga was letting Aomine roam free in his kitchen, but that wasn't going to be particularly productive.

Clearly, Aomine was not going to let him sleep, so Taiga sadly gave up on the idea of having some rest before training in the morning, and hauled himself up out of bed.

"Are you awake because you never stop napping?" he asked. He felt heavy as he moved out towards the kitchen.

"I didn't nap today," Aomine said. "I can't sleep."

Fucking hell.

* * *

><p>He woke up to a text message from Kise after he came home from training and crashed on the couch.<p>

_thank you for taking care of aominecchi kagamicchi!_ (っ´▽｀)っ

He resisted the urge to throw his phone at the wall.

_make him go home_

The reply was instantaneous

_but aominecchi gets lonely_・゜・(ノД`)

_i don't fucking care_

_you're heartless, kagamicchi_｡･ﾟ･(*ﾉД`*)･ﾟ･。

He gave up at that point, and half-heartedly tossed the phone onto his bag.

He definitely wasn't going to be the one warning Kise that Kuroko was pissed off about their aborted date night.

* * *

><p>Aomine had crashed during the day, tired out by his sleepless nights, the night before Kise came home, and repeated his request for cupcakes.<p>

Fleetingly, it occurred to Taiga that he must also have lost his mind somewhere from the exhaustion of dealing with a perpetually awake, cranky, demanding asshole, to be indulging his request. He had a faint idea that Kise didn't even _like_ sweets and cakes, from memory, but Aomine was determined and he was weak and wanted to sleep.

He was in the middle of wearily mixing up the batter at some ridiculous hour – he didn't want to think about how late it was – when it occurred to him to ask why Aomine was so set on having food for Kise. Food Kise wasn't even that _keen_ on.

Aomine's face went a very interesting and amusing shade of red, so Taiga put the mixing bowl down and leaned in, grinning.

"Come on. I'm making it, after all. Don't I deserve to know?"

"Fuck off, Kagami," Aomine said, fidgeting and refusing to look at him. Taiga raised his eyebrows, unimpressed.

"I've got all night, Aomine," he said spreading his hands out. "If you want me to finish them, you have to spill it."

It took a moment, leaning against the counter watching Aomine, for Aomine to come to the realisation that he was not, in fact, joking, and he made a frustrated, angry noise.

"Kise's always starving when he finishes a job," he mutters. "Eats everything in sight to reward himself or some shit like that."

That... was surprisingly sweet. Aomine must have seen something on his face, because his scowl deepened. "Are you going to finish doing that, or what?"

Taiga wondered if this was the kind of thing Kuroko meant when Taiga asked him about why he was friends with these assholes. Probably. It still didn't seem worth the trouble, but well.

It was nice.

He still wasn't going to warn them Kuroko was pissed off at them, though.

Taiga turned back towards the counter, and smiled thinking about the ways his boyfriend would make their dumbass friends pay this time.


End file.
